Women, how do you engage in your pleasure?
Do you actively participate in the building of orgasmic pleasure in your body or do you passively lie there waiting for your partner to “give” you an orgasm? It is this idea that a woman must be satisfied with whatever her man/partner chooses to “give” her that creates so much disconnection…the woman from her body and her pleasure, as well as a disconnection between the woman and her lover!
For a woman to expect her lover to just “give” her an orgasm without engaging actively in the building of orgasmic energy herself is actually quite unreasonable and, in actuality, if she is not in the state of mind to orgasm, there is NOTHING her lover can do to “give” her an orgasm! So much of orgasm is in the head, and when a woman is not fully engaged in her pleasure and is allowing her mind to be distracted by other things, she cannot be fully in her body…she loses her orgasm and becomes frustrated that her lover can’t bring her to orgasm, or her partner becomes frustrated that she is taking too long…or both. They blame each other or the woman buys into the story that she “takes to long” or just can’t orgasm and she settles, selling out on herself AND her lover!
The attitude that a woman who desires and enjoys sexual pleasure is somehow “slutty” and degraded also creates a block in the minds of many women to surrendering into and expressing their pleasure. Sexual shame is very real and affects a woman on the emotional, physical AND energetic levels and prevents her from connecting with her pleasure and tapping into her body in a way that she can actually surrender into an orgasmic state.
Another block to a woman being fully expressed in her pleasure is the belief that she can’t tell a man what she wants…that telling him or her that she wants to be pleased in a certain way is somehow brazen or that it will intimidate him. There certainly are men in this world who are so insecure in their sexuality that they are offended this way. A man may take a woman telling him what she wants as insulting and an implication that he doesn’t know what he is doing…if this is the case, run as fast as you can the other way! You deserve MUCH more! A REAL man is turned on by his lover’s responses of deep pleasure and will appreciate any expressions of guidance on how to better please her. Her moans of pleasure and writhing body in response to his touches and movements will drive him to even higher heights of eroticism and ecstatic bliss, both in himself and his lover!
It is time…time for women to take back their pleasure and reclaim their power!
It’s time for women to embrace their divine erotic natures and awaken the Goddess within!
It’s time for you to command your pleasure.
(article and image as published in Thought Catalog February 15, 2018 https://thoughtcatalog.com/freyja-inanna/2018/02/its-time-for-women-to-command-their-orgasm-and-their-pleasure/ )